Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Feedback; thank you!!

Okay, thank you so much! and thank you for letting me post (LOL). I appreciate all thoughts and opinions about such topics. I need it; it helps. Here is a letter from a great friend of mine:

"Subject :
We're all human...!

Hi (HOPE)! Me, (great friend). I just KNEW after I got your e-mail, that I had better check your “virtual therapy” page, to make sure you didn’t tell all of the internet (anonymously, of course) that you might be a sexaholic. And sure enough, you did.

Oh (HOPE), you silly, funny girl. :) There’s a little bit of a hypochondriac in all of us, trying to figure out what is wrong with ourselves. We’re not full-blown hypochondriacs, but we still worry. That’s what we do! Like I said before, I do recognize a few things from the SA list that match some of your concerns– but I don’t think that you actually ARE a sexaholic.

And apparently Hepzibah, who I assume is somebody who knows you quite well, doesn’t think you are either. How she put it, it sounded pretty smart. I am all for you feeling the need to get help. I’m happy to hear you went to the doctor the other day (I think I read that in the blog). I don’t now how it went, but I hope it went well. If you still felt the need to look into the SA stuff, I’d strongly advise you to contact a same-sex mentor first, and feel the group out that way, to be able to talk to someone privately and candidly (and anonymously) to find out if your worries are the same as theirs. My suspicion is that theirs are much worse, and you ACTUALLY have more control over your life than most of them do. (Might sound weird, but I truly believe it!)


Lots of people have slept with a dozen people and have regretted most of them— that’s just life. But I really fear you’d feel totally out of place if you went to an actual meeting with actual people. While some of the things they describe might not shake you— how they act and feel about the choices they make probably would. I don’t know.

We all seek validation, like Hepz. said. I even had a prolonged hug with (gal pal) yesterday---- which is something you could just as easily point the finger at me, just like I pointed the finger at you and your back-rub. (Gal pal) and I sat and hung out for an hour or two, and among other things, she helped me take some new pictures, and helped me (surf the safer dating service on the net) for single women in my area (which is a nice step for her– actually accepting the reality that I’m not waiting around for her to be single, and that I’m going to try to find somebody). I walked her out to her car when she left, and we stood in front of the car and talked a bunch, even though she had to get going so she could finish her (class) homework. She kind of wanted a hug before she left, so we hugged. And it wasn’t a short hug. After about five or ten seconds of me hugging her (which was– nice, although hopefully not in a dirty way), I kind of made a joke about it, and I said something like, “I guessed it was going to be a short hug, but it turned out to be a long hug, and that’s cool, because it’s been a while since I had a long hug.” Yeah, I said that out loud. And she said something like, “I like hugs too.” (I don’t remember the exact words.) So we just kept hugging. We hugged for another twenty seconds or so! Which was— weird— but cool. We’re all human. We all want validation, and companionship, and to be liked or listened to. Who can blame us for that?

We’ve just got to be responsible, is all. And before I go, I might as well ask: how is you job/ money stuff going? In some ways, I feel that may be the biggest thing on your plate right now, and yet you as much as you’ve written me this week, you haven’t mentioned anything about it. I hope you feel you are making some progress on that front too. Take care, (Hoping4more). You are unique, you know that? And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
–(Great friend) "


(Hoping-here) Thank you, great friend! BOY do I appreciate you so much...you have no idea...yes I'm still a disaster, what can I say. It still feels like my head is spinning (yikes, scary!!) and I've done so many things wrong that I have NO IDEA how to make right. Dizziness, vertigo, fainting...these things have all been a part of my life lately. Failure...there is one of my worst fears...TIME TO FACE IT!!! No way out. I'm stopped at every angle. I have no other choice, that I see, so my success will only be that I will try to handle it well. Thank you.

5 Comments:

Anonymous wolfbaby said...

i hope you feel like your finding some sort of controll that lost spinning daze is kinda scary sometimes..

hugs

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

validation and support. THIS is what you are seeking for girl. if hubby is not going to provide that to you, then he will have definite struggles with your daughter. find and put people into your life that believe and love you. those of us that read your blog, do love you and know you will make it.


.......hubby of supermom

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