Sunday, August 06, 2006

Time, Chance, Circumstance...

Everyone, we are still concerned about the missing Doc. A, so please refer to my previous post for any information leading to the blogabouts of our favorite BA sponsor... and back to the life of hoping4more...

Stormin' here today; everyone says we needed that!! I had a break this weekend, just to blog about and rest, and now I need to have brain stimulation and hopefully some improvement with my ability to focus. I feel like I'm sleeping with the enemy, a latent virus that will attack me, and in turn, my autoimmune system will destroy me in the process of trying to destroy it, if I make a move... that is the irony of codependency. I need to know that my daughter has a whole home...I need to somehow make myself believe that is possible....with divorce, you see...a kid casualty is just more than I can live with. I just don't know if I can live with being all together either. It is truly a no-win situation. I'm stale-mated (what a double meaning). He's smart enough to know he holds those keys! He's a lot smarter than he plays himself off to be... I can't decide on what I really think about him. I have been wrong, and now, who knows. The question of victim vs. evil genius, maybe we'll never know!

This blogging community really does seriously take the place of some normal need for human interaction! Scary, for sure!! It is like the synthetic drug version, without all those allergy risks of the natural kind...but is that any way to live? I dunno...good question. the REAL question is, what would happen WITHOUT EITHER ONE??!! THAT would truly be a scary sight. I guess the synthetic version saves a part of a person's life, but does it also enable an unhealthy pattern? Is it a debateable trade-off, as most issues, grey and full of ethical dillemnas? Oh well. At least this is a light-hearted piece on blogging and not something more serious such as surgeries and life-sustaining med's with questionable results. I guess I get really sick of the freagin' grey and seek clarity once in a while, holy cow.

I really want to extend all measures of comfort and gratitude to those brave, helpful souls in positions to have to constantly be making judgement calls on other people's lives, when there may be no hardened clear answer! Kudos to all doctors, surgeons, nurses, psychiatrists, and other health care practitioners (the list is long...) out there who have the bold responsibility to care for others and decide on procedures and medications in attempt to improve other people's lives!!! It must tax your soul, and make you weary to carry that torch all the time. It must be somewhat lonely to have that kind of weight on your shoulders...It must feel thankless at times when clients/patients sue, yell, and complain, with NO IDEA the extent you go to ensure their well-being to the best of your ability...

On behalf of others like me in the community, THANK YOU!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your willingness to continue, for your thoughtfulness, your passion, your diligence. I cannot think of how to thank the health care professionals who work tirelessly, yet constantly feel the strain that never is fully alleviated, of needy people who don't know who to blame or who to trust to help them achieve their health care goals! You are all very special people and the world is a better place because you choose to care. I want to just sincerely demonstrate my gratitude, as humble as it is through a post on my anonymous blog, but truly, Thank you so very much.

It is interesting how things come around full circle...time, chance, and circumstance happens to us all! We do not have the final say in life, do we? Best wishes to all who desire to live life to the fullest! Cheers (with bubbly grape juice for those who prefer.)


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