Wednesday, October 25, 2006

No Way Out But Through

Casualties are unacceptable. All people are bestowed dignity and grace from God. I cannot accept casualties, not if I can help it... To follow principles I believe in, OUCH, means...okay...well, my sense of wellbeing is DEFINITELY on the line. Of all who have access to this, sometimes I truly wish I would have shown no one who actually KNOWS me, so that I may be truly free to lay in all on the line, let it all out... say every last little detail and feel I've purged myself, and freed my soul to really live. But it's inappropriate because I believe wisdom often includes discretion and refraining from gossip, even about yourself. It's about respect, and dignity.

Ha! My good friend, Mr. Cool Hot Sexy, just said, "Casualties are unacceptable? Casualties are REQUIRED. It's like saying, I want to eat supper but I don't want to shit."


Oh, wow. I am responsible for some BIG ERRS. I cannot seem to come to terms with them, the very same errs I would forgive someone else for in a heartbeat! ONE beat of my heart, POOF! Loved and forgiven, but no! Myself? I cannot accept that, but it isn't selfless, I am selfish in that. I don't want to be that vulnerable. I do not want to incite that much possible anger. I do not want to leave my daughter with a mother in WORSE condition; I'm barely keeping my morale up as it is! That is true...I want her to have a good home, PERIOD. OKAY, so casualties are allowed for THAT to happen, too true...

Well...I need to go make sense of some more complications of life, so see ya later! LOVE HUGS and a big bowl of beans to ALL!!! tee hee

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Completely in Love with Truth and Love Itself...

I don't need anyone to be that for me, necessarily, and I will be happy when it comes my way, legitimately. Romance is only a small part of life, but it makes it fun and enjoyable. But solid principles hold out, and that is what to bank on. "Amen, sistah!" (OKAY I'm talking to myself, yes...) I love EVERYONE, truly! EVEN myself, hey, why not? I'm not so bad after all! I've put myself through hell, and come on now! Isn't it time to LIVE life FULLY like I always preach to everyone else? OKAY so I got my own point finally!

I'm all right with me. *wink* Is that so wrong? I don't think so.

Cheers to a new day, ya'all! I can love YOU because I love MYSELF. ISN'T THAT GREAT? Cool with me...everybody enjoy your beautiful day.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Rethinking future... I am addressing all those core issues I have buried for all these years! My husband was my chosen distraction from dealing with other things in my life, I suppose, to some extent. I had no time or energy left for dealing with my original concerns that still hold me back in life right now. NOW, I'm doing that.
Wow, what an opportunity. I'm going to seize it. "Seize the day!" It's both frightening and exciting at the same time, and unnerving in the hopes that I will not make the same mistakes again, and that I will address things more fully, given the full opportunity. This situation helps tremendously. I've been so overwhelmed for so I'm "purging" some of those issues, learning to slow down, and receive the wonderful blessings now bestowed upon me freely.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Completely in Love with Mr. Cool sexy Hot

Wow...couldn't stop myself. Fell hard for Mr. Wonderful here... I'm toast. Completely, totally, burned blackened toast. No hope...I'm a gonner. 100% "property of" Sexy Endearing Sweet Loveable...
Do I have brain damage? I am totally ga-ga; WHAT kind of guy IS THIS?? Is he a voodoo guy? A "magic man"... must be. The CT scan must have not caught it; need the MRI to detect my real problem. ANY girl would be vulnerable to falling for Mr. Cool Sexy Hot, but...I'M supposed to know better! My heart is his. Period.
I love him. Completely over any other "possiblities". What now? Wow...