Wednesday, October 25, 2006

No Way Out But Through

Casualties are unacceptable. All people are bestowed dignity and grace from God. I cannot accept casualties, not if I can help it... To follow principles I believe in, OUCH, means...okay...well, my sense of wellbeing is DEFINITELY on the line. Of all who have access to this, sometimes I truly wish I would have shown no one who actually KNOWS me, so that I may be truly free to lay in all on the line, let it all out... say every last little detail and feel I've purged myself, and freed my soul to really live. But it's inappropriate because I believe wisdom often includes discretion and refraining from gossip, even about yourself. It's about respect, and dignity.

Ha! My good friend, Mr. Cool Hot Sexy, just said, "Casualties are unacceptable? Casualties are REQUIRED. It's like saying, I want to eat supper but I don't want to shit."


Oh, wow. I am responsible for some BIG ERRS. I cannot seem to come to terms with them, the very same errs I would forgive someone else for in a heartbeat! ONE beat of my heart, POOF! Loved and forgiven, but no! Myself? I cannot accept that, but it isn't selfless, I am selfish in that. I don't want to be that vulnerable. I do not want to incite that much possible anger. I do not want to leave my daughter with a mother in WORSE condition; I'm barely keeping my morale up as it is! That is true...I want her to have a good home, PERIOD. OKAY, so casualties are allowed for THAT to happen, too true...

Well...I need to go make sense of some more complications of life, so see ya later! LOVE HUGS and a big bowl of beans to ALL!!! tee hee


Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl aloud

10:15 AM  
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10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's me, Hoping4more, and I've forgotten my own password after all this time, ha! I succeeded with giving up all that blogging, and I rarely do it anymore...yay for me, huh? I have no time for it. I'm a single mom. But I do do it once in a while...anyway, it is nice to be single, to be free, no strings attached. Mr. cool hot sexy, well, that was a temporary ooops, but a good friend as long as we keep our distance. Boundaries, such a good thing to have! And thanks to a good friend I have learned how to make that a standard practice. I am happy, and though I am lonely without a male companion (husband), I have an opportunity to grow and be alone, and I like getting that space. I need time to grieve. I miss my husband (ex). I love him so much, or rather, I love the idea about him that I've held onto. And I need to mourn that loss and move on finally, so I can walk in liberty and not prematurely involve myself in something less than ideal.

I wish my fellow bloggers well!! Hope all is going well in each of your real lives.

8:39 PM  

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